The Center of All Evil in the Universe

Remember, Cthulhu for President, why vote for the lesser of two evils?

Ok, so only a few of you will get that joke, but it’s a good one if you are in on it.

I haven’t cleared this with the wife, but I am, officially, announcing my candidacy for Governor of the wonderful state of Illinois.

I pretty sure that there are some technicalities that I have forgotten, like filing and stuff, so I won’t be appearing on the ballot, but I’m also pretty sure that you can write my name in (that’s Kenneth S. Roth, not Gryfalia). For the record, this is in the Republican primary. I’m not the most ardent Republican in the world, but I’m not really a Democrat, plus our current Gov is gonna win that one. So I might as well run for the one where I have a chance.

Why am I taking the drastic step of having the possibility of leaving my current job at this large insurance company to have a chance to lead this great state forward?

Jim Oberweis.

This pox on the butt-cheeks of the party that I nominally claim membership in has really honked me off, and I even get ONE person out there who was planning to vote for him to vote, instead, for me, I’ve done my work.

You know you really suck when you show up on factcheck.org Jim. You are the problem, and it sickens me that when people in this state think of a conservative Republican, they will think of you and the crap you spew. People like you have driven people like me closer and closer to being Independents, or even, gasp, Green. Not likely Democrat, not sure I could do that, but I digress…

You are a hypocrite of the highest order, and not voting for you is likely the highest citizenship goal someone in this great state can aspire to this year.

So, if you’re out there and the name recognition of ‘Oberweis’ has you thinking of wonderful milk-based treats to go with your vote, please don’t vote for Oberweis. Pretend that Gryfalia makes you think of other tasty treats. If the best you can do is NOT voting for someone who would lie to get your vote, then at least you’ve started down the right path.

Gryfalia for Republican candidate for Illinois Governor, 2006. Walk into your polling place on March 21 and Vote Gryfalia. Vote for at least some truth. Thats Gryfalia, spelled ‘Kenneth S. Roth’.

Vote early, vote often. Wait, wrong party…

Gryfalia

Filed under: Current Events
2 Comments

“Probably the thing that drew me towards writing the kind of songs that I do is because I think you have to engage people’s minds, as well as their emotions, in an effective presentation of Christianity, and it’s very hard to do that. Much of modern Christian songwriting does a really good job of engaging the emotions, but doesn’t do a very good job of engaging the mind. Probably some of the satire and word play in the songs that I write is a result of feeling that that’s an important element of it all.”

No, not Steven Tyler (of Aerosmith fame, and father of the infinitely more attractive Liv Tyler), but instead Roland Stephen Taylor, who is pretty ancient, being born in 1957…

I’m not going to give you his life story or anything like that..I will link you to this most excellent site and let you read that there. That gives you his life story, lyrics to pretty much all his songs, information on his upcoming movie and most everything you could ever want to know about him.

I have a weakness for record/CD/movie clubs. I know they are, in general, a scam, but the into purchase that they have you make ends up being a great way for me to get a bunch of the items that I want at one time. Such was the case when I signed up for some random club way back when I lived in Indianapolis. I ended up getting White Heart’s first album (White Heart), Amy Grant’s Straight Ahead (at least, I think that was the one), Petra’s Not of this World and..something else (I think it was good, I simply can’t remember what it was). Note that these were all albums. Note that they are all..standard stuff. I mean, gimme some credit, it’s not Sandi Patti or the like, but it’s not exactly edgy material.

But somewhere, sometime after that I picked up a copy of Steve Taylor’s Meltdown to go in my new portable cassette player. I spent most of the trip to the Youth Congress (what, 1985? I dunno) in Washington DC listening to it over and over, especially Baby Doe. The title track was Meltdown (At Madame Tussaud’s), which I had to inform my father was not, in fact, some leftist anti-nuclear power message, but instead an allusion to the end times and how, like someone turning up the heat at Madame Tussaud’s, it would all melt away and go down the drain.

While this wasn’t Steve’s first album (that was the EP ‘I Want to be a Clone’), it was his first full-length effort, and from the start he wasn’t pulling any punches…

Down Carolina way
Live a man named O’ Big B.J.
B.J. went and got a school
Founded on caucasian rule
Bumper sticker on his Ford
Says, ‘honkies if you love the Lord’

We don’t need no colour code
We don’t need no colour code
Take your rules and hit the road
We don’t need no colour code
Judgement day is goin’ down
Better burn your cap and gown

White man speak with forked tongue
White supremists eat their young
Bigotry is on the loose
Ignorance is no excuse
I know Jesus loves that man
Even with the Greenville tan

Marching to pretoria (marching to pretoria)
Colour codes in churches, huh? (colour codes in churches, huh?)
Following a fascist creed (following a…what?)
Whose translation do you read? ()
True believers won’t be snowed
We don’t need no colour code

We ain’t playing dead this time
This is where we draw the line

- ‘We Don’t Need no Colour Code’

One guess who BJ is..

Indeed, Steve ended up making quite a reputation for himself by saying it like he means..

‘Wealthy lips say, ‘keep us from the evil one’
While the praying hands prey with deliberate cunning
On the carcass of the cold
Gonna get the Good Lord to forgive a little sin
Get the slate cleaned so he can dirty it again
And no one else will ever know
But he reaps his harvest as his heart grows hard
No man’s gonna make a mockery of God
‘I’m only human
Got no other reason’
Sin for a season ‘

- Sin For a Season

This was my first real interaction with edgy, non-standard music. Before this it was the albums mentioned before, as well as the entertaining, but pretty old, music of my parents (especially the hilarious Chad Mitchell Trio - Mighty Day on Campus being my favorite of theirs to this day - ‘Lizzy Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks, and when the job was nicely done, she gave her father forty one.’).

And I liked it. Oh yes, I did.

1995 saw the release of On the Fritz and the confetti colored jacket. This album also brought about the first recorded sighting of Steve in a dress (as the superior, and soon to be defenestrated, teacher - yes, that’s a real word, look it up). This album saw Steve taking target at another ‘leader’ (and I use that term with great reservations) of the Christian community…

There was a time in Christendom
The road to God was hard to tread
‘Til charlatans in leisure suits
Saw dollars dancing in their heads

You don’t owe me nothing
You don’t owe me nothing
You don’t owe me nothing
You don’t owe me nothing

I heard her say she struck a deal
Her faith will bring in money bags
I’m heading for the mercy seat
My goodness looks like dirty rags

You don’t owe me nothing
Need I even say
You don’t owe me nothing
Why did you give it anyway?

I know you’ll give me what I need
They say I need a shopping mall
I claim the victory over greed
Lord Jesus, I surrender all

- You Don’t Owe Me Nothing

Steve’s own comments on this song: “Not one of my more insightful lyrics, with Jim & Tammy, et al. The televangelist target had gotten too easy - rather like criticizing a cartoon character for bad acting” (from the liner notes of his collection ‘Now the Truth Can Be Told”). He also takes aim at certain others with ‘I Manipulate’. I think this album is the last time that Steve takes on such, as he says, easy targets. ‘To Forgive’ is another of my favorites on the album, juxtaposing the image of Pope John Paul II forgiving his would-be assassin and Christ forgiving us all (First - I saw a man he was holding the hand that had fired a gun at his heart. Oh will we live to forgive? Second - I saw the man with the holes in his hand Who could offer the miracle cure. Oh, he said, live, I forgive’).

Two years later (for those not keeping track, 1987) he came out with ‘I Predict 1990′. The concert for this album was Steve Taylor with Some Band (his group) as the main attraction, with Whitecross opening. Whitecross was a metal band, so it was a very..weird..set of fans that arrived. But it was almost heaven for those of us who liked both groups. Best…concert…ever. It was also at Wheaton, which was funny because I ended up working concerts at Wheaton the next year when I started there (sigh..couldn’t I have just been one year older..sniff).

This is probably my favorite album, but in the end was the one that caused the most problems for Steve Taylor and finally proved that, in the end, the Christian community is far happier eating their young than actually questioning themselves or their actions. For 3 and a half albums Steve was getting more and more adamant, trying to force Christians to look in the mirror and see what’s really going on. From people accusing him of being ‘New Age’ or occult (a stunningly silly accusation if you know even a little about his music) due to the image on the front of this CD to people accusing him of being ‘pro-bombing’ of abortion clinics due to the song ‘I Blew Ip the Clinic Real Good’, it got to be too much for Steve. From the liner notes on I Blew Up the Clinic Real Good:

“A very incendiary song indeed. Reasonable people on both sides of the abortion debate could argue that this was not a song that needed to be written, but it was the unreasonable ones who made the most noise: The director of an abortion clinic in San Diego threatened a lawsuit against a video show that aired the ‘clinic’ clip, and when I called her at the show’s request to explain that it was satire, she was so whining and obnoxious that I ended up giving her an earful of what I thought of her profession, then begged her to sue me. Australian TV’s version of Geraldo Rivera did a story on me prior to a national tour there, claiming I was advocating blowing up abortion clinics - the story got picked up by all the major newspapers and eventually forced cancellation of most of the tour (forever dispelling the show biz dictum ‘all press is good press’). I even spent an hour on the phone with an elderly bookstore owner in Arizona - he’d pulled the album because he thought it was wrong to blow up abortion clinics, and I congratulated him on his integrity in choosing principle over commerce before gently explaining to him the song’s satirical intent. So what happened? It all seemed obvious to me - the flashing neon lyric in the middle of the song that says, ‘the end don’t justify the means anytime’. What better example to use than a clinic bomber (except perhaps the nutcases that are now shooting abortionists?) ‘Christian’ relativism’s finest hour! (Okay, maybe Oliver ‘proud to be a God-fearing liar’ North matched it for sheer shamelessness. ‘Does this mean it’s OK to tell lies, Daddy?’ Do I still sound angry? Does a duck have lips? Do we get the heroes we deserve, or what?) I’ll take flak anytime for the right reasons, but this song was controversial for all the wrong ones.”

(BTW, I want to credit onfritz.com for these liner notes. I could type them in myself, but David has done such good work … and I’m so lazy … that I cut and paste. Full disclosure and all…seriously, check out his website, it’s great www.onfritz.com. Also, another site with I think all the liner notes is here: Sock Heaven).

Another song on the album that ended up causing me to learn a lot is the song Svengali. Never knew who, or what, Svengali was (or ‘a Svengali’), but this album caused me to look it up. It’s never bad to learn. (for the record, read Trilby if you want to know more about it).

But the final track is the one that I always loved the most, especially the concept video that was made for it:

‘Nothing is colder than the winds of change
where the chill numbs the dreamer till a shadow remains
among the ruins lies your tortured soul
was it lost there
or did your will surrender control?

Shivering with doubts that were left unattended
so you toss away the cloak that you should have mended
don’t you know by now why the chosen are few?
it’s harder to believe than not to
harder to believe than not to

It was a confidence that got you by
when you know you believed it, but you didn’t know why
no one imagines it will come to this
but it gets so hard when people don’t want to listen

Shivering with doubts that you left unattended
so you toss away the cloak that you should have mended
don’t you know by now why the chosen are few?
it’s harder to believe than not to

Some stay paralyzed until they succomb
others do what they feel, but their senses are numb
some get trampled by the pious throng
still they limp along

Are you sturdy enough to move to the front?
is it nods of approval or the truth that you want?
and if they call it a crutch, then you walk with pride
your accusers have always been afraid to go outside

They shiver with doubts that were left unattended
then they toss away the cloak that they should have mended
you know by now why the chosen are few
it’s harder to believe than not to…

I believe’

- Harder to Believe Than Not To

Simply a can’t miss album.

Well, Steve and a crew of music greats came out with Chagall Guevara next, which was critically acclaimed, but didn’t sell terribly well. I love it. I have, like, two copies (one CD, one cassette). The liner notes from Svengali discuss Chagall Guevara a bit “I never really liked this song, and almost tossed it out halfway through the epic making of the I Predict 1990 album. For starters, it presaged an unhealthy obsession with foreign-sounding words that would reach its tragic apex with the naming of an obscure American rock band of which I was a member. ‘

Unfortunately, that one album was the entire discography for Chagall Guevara, but it was a brilliant, if short lived, life.

Finally, a couple years later Steve came back for one more. In 1994 he came out with Squint. Many Steve fans don’t like this album as much as his earlier works (my better half included), but I find myself just as happy to listen to it as to his older works. Songs like Smug, Easy Listening and Cash Cow bring us full circle back to commentary on the modern church, while songs like Sock Heaven and Jesus is for Losers remind us of our place in the universe and the plans that God has for us. Steve has said that Sock Heaven is a bit autobiographical and if you read about his career you can see the connection.

Steve’s take on both the Church and political discussion on the country these days is pretty prophetic when you think this is written back in 1994:

‘Strike this little pose
Chin up in the air
Lips together tightly
Nostrils in a flare
Now look like you care
Very nice!

Practice in the mirror
Brushing back a tear
Very sincere
A promising career could begin right here at home
If you’ve got that smug
That smug

Hey Mama Hey Mama Lookee what your little babies all have become
Hey Mama Hey Mama don’t it ever make you wish you’d been a nun?
Vain and fickle
Were we weaned on a pickle?
Is it in our blood?
Rome is burning
We’re here turning smug

Strike another pose
Power politics
Swallow their conventions
Get your power fix
We love to mud wrestle
We love being politically Koreshed

Practice that smug
Pose it like a man
One part Master Limbaugh
Two parts Madame Streisand
Now pretend you’re in a band
My, my, we’re looking smug
Very very very very

Hey Mama Hey Mama….

All you smug-starved millions in the thick of the search
Welcome to our church
Whatcha wanna solve?
We can help you evolve
From merely self-righteous
To perfectly smug

Strike the proud pose of our country-club brethren
Friendly as a tomb
Fragrant as the bottom of a locker-room broom
Now what’s the matter?
Hey…get off your knees…
That part don’t come ’til later…
God will not be pleased

Hey Mama Hey Mama…

Rome is cooking
My, we’re looking smug ‘

- Smug

Part of the reason that I think people like political air-heads these days, from both sides of the aisle, are so popular is because people sit back and pretend that they are sages and that their words are so well thought out that we aren’t forced to, you know, think any more. People just link to the most recent Anne Coulter essay, or left-wing blogs in general, pretend that it answers all the questions, and move on. We’ve long ago moved out of the age of Discernment into the age of Parroting (www.dictionary.com ‘To repeat or imitate, especially without understanding.’). I know this started years ago, but only with the advent of the Internet, where you can literally say anything, without any supporting statements or even, perish the thought, facts (crazy thought there) has the disinformation campaign moved into high gear. Showing alternate views is now seen as a weakness.

Anyway, enough of that. Topic for another day (at this rate I’ll get to it some point after the sun turns into a ball of charcoal).

Steve has also produced and written for the Newsboys..his touch can be easily seen in many of their songs. On top of that he is the director and co-writer of the movie ‘The Second Chance’ which is slated for a Feb 2006 debut. It even has a website The Second Chance. Michael W Smith stars in the movie. The trailer looks interesting, and I am be looking forward to it (if I can somehow see it..not sure how widely distributed it will be).

I really can’t fully explain what the music of Steve Taylor has meant over the years to me. It has taught me to question, to believe, to hope and sometimes to just flat-out laugh. It has reminded me that little of what we focus on as Christians means anything, and that much of what we do actually tears down the body of Christ instead of building it up. Each of us has our own race to run, and our roles change as we grow, from the student to the supporter to the teacher. And, most importantly, it has always helped me to understand that we’re never done, nor done for.

I end with the lyrics to ‘The Finish Line’:

‘Once upon an average morn
An average boy was born for the second time
Prone upon the altar there
He whispered up the prayer he’d kept hid inside

The vision came
He saw the odds
A hundred little gods on a gilded wheel
“These will vie to take your place, but Father,
by your grace I wil never kneel”

And I saw you, upright and proud
And I saw you wave to the crowd
And I saw you laughing out loud at the Philistines
And I saw you brush away rocks
And I saw you pull up your socks
And I saw you out of the blocks
For the finish line

Darkness falls
The devil stirs
And as your vision blurs you start stumbling
The heart is weak
The will is gone
And every strong conviction comes tumbling down

Malice rains
The acid guile is sucking at your shoes while the mud is fresh
It floods the trail
It bleeds you dry
As every little god buys its pound of flesh

And I saw you licking your wounds
And I saw you weave your cocoons
And I saw you changing your tunes for the party line
And I saw you welch on old debts
I saw you and your comrades bum cigarettes
And you hemmed and you hawed
And you hedged all your bets
Waiting for a sign

Let’s wash our hands as we throw little fits
Let’s all wash our hands as we curse hypocrites
We’re locked in the washroom turning old tricks
Deaf
And joyless
And full of it

The vision came
He saw the odds
A hundred little gods on a gilded wheel
“These have tried to take your place, but Father,
by your grace I will never kneel
I will never kneel…”

Off in the distance
Bloodied but wise
As you squint with the light of the truth in your eyes

And I saw you
Both hands were raised
And I saw your lips move in praise
And I saw you steady your gaze
For the finish line

Every idol like dust
A word scattered them all
And I rose to my feet when you scaled the last wall
And I gasped
When I saw you fall
In his arms
At the finish line’

Until later, whenever that is, just keep running..

Gryfalia

Filed under: Music
3 Comments

What’s all this about, then?
The Cambridge University Assassins’ Guild plays a game every Michaelmas and Lent term, in which each player is given the names of other players in Cambridge and has to hunt them down and “kill” them using a variety of simulated assassination techniques such as water pistols, cardboard knives and imitation bombs and poisons.

The Assassins’ Guild

Now, I don’t think that’s the kind of TAG we’re talking about (The Assassination Game), so more in-line with the plan..

10 Years ago I was:

Just returning from working for Best Buy in Toledo
Living in the basement of a married couple who were friends from college (and still are)
Playing Magic: the Gathering (a trend)
Working on a computer with a whole 16 MB of RAM

5 Years ago I was:

Buying a house (of the first kind)
Buying 2 cats, the first ones ever to live in an abode that my parents or myself owned
Playing Magic
Listening to weird sounds from our upstairs neighbors

1 Year ago I was:

Working in the same unit, in fact the same seat, that I am now
Winding down playing Everquest
Playing Magic
Pondering what kind of trip we could scam for Kristi taking tests

Yesterday I was:

Playing a single game of Magic at lunch
Entering 10 codes for the McDonalds Monopoly game
Killing Onyxia in WoW
Watching lots of West Wing

5 Snacks I enjoy Most:

Pie (way better than cake)
Ken’s Uber Huge Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches
Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Cookies
Good N Plenty
Cotton Candy (just too much fun to play with)

5 Songs I know the words to:

There’s Another Dumbass on the Mountain - The Darn Accordions
Caught in an Unguarded Moment - 77s
Cash Cow - Steve Taylor (’A face like the face of Robert Tilton..without the horns’)
Exit - U2
It’s all Who You Know - The Newsboys

5 Ideal Places for running away to:

Sandals Halcyon - St Lucia
Fiji
Six Flags Great America
Blackrock Spire
A good book

5 Items you’ll never see me wear:

Speedo
Biking Shorts
Designer Suit
Expensive Shoes
A singlet (those days are past)

5 Biggest Joys of my Life:

Kristi (duh)
Playing Magic (at least when winning)
Taking a new route from point A to B, with no schedule
Giving
Music

5 Favorite Toys:

Magic cards
Settlers of Catan
My computer
Anything I have that makes/plays music
Weedwhacker

No tagging myself, just thought I would answer..

Have a day!

Gryfalia

Filed under: Random Babbling
2 Comments

Lucky Day: Well, we’re just gonna have to use our brains.
Ned Nederlander, Dusty Bottoms: Damn it!

Neal: Del… Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: [frowns] Where’s your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows…
Neal: Those aren’t pillows!

Ty Webb: A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

Just some random quotes from some very funny movies.

I don’t actually have a lot I want to say today, but I wanted to put..SOMETHING..here. So, uh, here it is.

One great thing that I did want to mention is that Kristi took my wish list to heart and had a local production place copy my _ton bundle cassette to CD for me! So now I can listen to it in the car or at work. WOOT!

Soon I will be making the songs available to you good people so that you can create a groundswell of interest, and someone at Battle Cabbage Music (the production team for Taking My Donkey to Town) will re-master and re-release the album on CD. Do eeeeeet!

Went to GenCon for a day in August and had a good time. Saw my college roommate Bryan and generally had fun.

I’ll have more relevant things to say in the days to come, just wanted to reward the 2-3 people who stop by monthly..

Gryfalia

Filed under: Random Babbling
6 Comments

Since I last posted on this blog, approximately 58 days have gone by.

And, more importantly, around 150 or so more Magic cards have been produced and added to the game.

That’s really part of the interest of Magic, the fact that the game isn’t static and changes over time. Of course, this increases the coffers of Hasbro (who now owns Wizards of the Coast), but since they are a stock company, it’s generally in their best interest to make money.

The other bonus of the continuous printing of cards is that new ideas can be added. Not simply new ideas, actually, but new worlds.

The ’story’ behind Magic is that there is a Multiverse of planes through which the spellcasters roam, fighting their battles against each other. Places such as Kamigawa, Mirrodin, Phyrexia, and more are the locations for the epic battles.

Epic combatants such as the warring brothers Urza and Mishra, to the manufactured planeswalker Karn, the Silver Golem, to Yawgmoth, the demon who first arrived in Antiquities who seeks to rule the Multiverse are these fighters. The premise is that you are actually one of these planeswalkers. Of course, the fact that you summon some of them to fight for you can be a tad tricky (tho you could argue that you only can use them in their status before becoming planeswalkers..like Karn who later morphs, and the fact that you use a Yawgmoth Demon, not Yawgmoth himself in your fights..if you can pay the price).

Add to that the various legends that roam various planes in the multiverse (Sisay, Gerrard, Radiant, Baron Sengir, Dakkon Blackblade, Cromat, Dromar, and hundreds more through dozens of sets) and you get a huge backstory that over time merely grows.

The first expansion was loaded with tons of cards that merely took ideas from the 1001 Arabian Nights. This expansion, named, originally enough, Arabian Nights, contained Djinni, Efreeti, Deserts, the Library of Alexandria, games within games (Shahrazad), and even Camels.

But after that they realized that they would need to come up with their own stories, and Antiquities, the card depiction of the great war between the brothers Mishra and Urza, was born. Now instead of stories that you already knew (if you knew your 1001 Arabian Nights) you had a new story to delve in to. Perhaps not the best, most fleshed out one, but it was a start. Soon came Legends, a set that actually asked the question ‘why can’t cards be more than one color?’. They could, it seemed.

Not until Ice Age, which was originally envisioned as an entirely different game using the same mechanics, did the concept of a ‘block’ of cards become born. Now, looking at the historical list of expansions, you can see that the production of new sets is done by default as a block.

And starting with Weatherlight, (yes, the third set of a block) Wizards experimented with a storyline. That storyline didn’t end until the Apocalypse, 12 sets later (or, alternatively, a card from the Tempest set, but I digress). Trust me, 13 sets was toooooo long for a storyline, and the lesson was learned. After that, each block more or less ends up being its own story, which is a good number. Some might be connected (Odyssey Block and Onslaught block are the same world), and they are all in the same Multiverse of course, but each one can stand on its own.

Some blocks have been of African origin (Mirage), some Japanese (Kamigawa), some Norse (Ice Age) and even a metallic one (Mirrodin), so no one gets left out.

So, besides being a complicated game with deep rules and a time to master that is very long, Magic also contains a deep storyline that draws people in. The artwork is also pretty impressive, although opinions on this vary greatly due to personal preferences. Some really like the original artwork, while some prefer the later artists brought in. Some, like myself, merely like the good ones..;-)

Take a look at this archive of artwork from various cards. It’s set up as a series of wallpapers for your desktop, but it serves to illustrate the point regardless. I still use the artwork for the later edition Wrath of God for my wallpaper at work. Or, as it is nicknamed, ‘God Frowned’.

Anyway, there is tons more than can be said about Magic and why people like myself play it, but in the end, if you think you might enjoy it, give it a try. I can hook you up with some starter cards if you live locally…;-)

Take care and see yas back here whenever you decide to check the site again!

Gryfalia

Filed under: Fun and Games
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Quote here..

So, when last we visited our intrepid blog, I was boring you with a description of Magic and what makes it a good game. Now we get into what I have to do with the game.

A couple years out of college (I suppose 1994) I was living in the thriving metropolis (cough) of Toledo, Ohio. No, no link to Toledo. There’s nothing interesting about it to link to, except that it’s the home of the Toledo Mud Hens and Tony Packo’s of M*A*S*H fame.

But anyway, I was pretty much alone there with no-one I know outside of work in town. But one of my best friends from college Paul Waterman told me about a new game that was out called (you guessed it) Magic: the Gathering. Apparently he had been introduced to the game by another one of our college buddies who was in the game industry named Faith Price. So in an email he told me to go and buy some and try it out.

So I did as requested. It took me a little time to find a store that was selling the product, but eventually I stumbled upon Freedly’s Books which was located, at the time, on the west side of town. He was selling Unlimited boosters and starters, so I snagged some. The rest, as they say, is history. I spent too much time trying to figure out how to play the game, often missing rather important tid-bits (like the whole untap step).

Over time I figured out the rules and found another couple places in town that also sold the game (I paid $1.45 for Arabian Nights boosters! These days they go for about $150 or so each. And you can buy one of the Unlimited Starters I bought for $8-9 for only $520 online). Magic had arrived and it was booming out of control.

I managed to score some Antiquities boosters but met my match when Legends came out. I didn’t plan ahead and none of the stores in town got enough, so I ended up driving to Michigan to get some. I finally managed to find some in a store outside of Detriot and I was much happy. (Booster of Legends then: $2 or so, now: $35). I managed to get one of my co-workers at Best Buy to play the game and we spent many nights at his place (like, until 6 in the morning) playing Magic with really, really bad decks.

Eventually my exile in Toledo ended and I was back in Illinois, living in the Waterman basement (that means the Paul above and his better half Laura, another friend from Wheaton). And we all played Magic. We taught others to play Magic. Paul ran automated auctions online (called the Infinite Auction, it ran on Usenet). And Paul was the rules guy. If we didn’t know, he did.

And eventually that rules knowledge, which I had been absorbing, became a source of income as the local tourney organizer, Todd Hansen, really, REALLY needed someone who knew the rules working at his events. Paul did it a bit at the start, but in the end I was the head judge for his events across the midwest.

At this point came my brush with fame. I was sitting in the Waterman abode and the phone rang. It was for me. It was someone at Wizards of the Coast offering me a change to play in the Pro Tour. The Pro Tour was a new idea of theirs, dedicated to creating a tourney cycle for Magic with $1 million in prizes over 4 tourneys (and Worlds). The first one was in New York in 1996. This event was open to anyone who could dial the phone fast enough to get in. But the second event, in Long Beach, CA, was open to those who did well in the first tourney as well as those who were highly ranked in the newly formed DCI (Duelist Convocation International, not Drum Corps International). Much to my surprise I found that several local tourneys had placed me at 17th in the world! Go me!

So with a little help from Heroes Unlimited, a store that ran tourneys weekly in the western burbs of Chicago, I made the trip to sunny southern California and walked away in 43rd place, good enough for $400. One of the other member of ‘The Crew’ (our team), Max Szlagor, won the Junior side of things, so it was a good weekend all-around. Bah, somewhere on the Wizards of the Coast webpage there is a list of the results in every pro tour event ever, and I’m on that list..and I saw it just 2 weeks ago, but now I cannot find it..;-/

Anyway, after that not-so-bad result I did the only logical thing I could do…I retired from active constructed play, deciding to move into judging and sealed events only. I started to work with Hansen’s Great Lakes Games organization, basically being head judge and eventually I did a lot of the staff work too. Heck I did everything.

And that’s where I leave you for today, I’ll be back…later..with the rest of the story..

Gryfalia

Filed under: Fun and Games
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Don’t say that Indiana never catches up to the times…literally.

Edit Here…Well, this was a story about the fact that Indiana has voted to join Daylight Savings time just like most everyone else. An issue that my father, currently living in Indiana with my mother, said was a contentious issue…

Another vestige of my youth gone.

Sniff.

Gryfalia

Filed under: Current Events
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Magic: The Gathering (Magic, or MtG) is the first of the collectable
trading card games to hit the market and make a splash. You play a
wizard, and with your cards, which represent spells or energy for
spells, you try and defeat your opponent(s). There are well over 400
different cards in the game, soon to be more, with some being out of
print, and some very common, so each game is generally going to proceed
differently.

That’s just a brief and not great description. Other people I’m sure
have better ones. The best way to find out what the game’s about is
to watch it being played, or to play.

- The original rec.games.deckmaster FAQ, v1.0, 22 June 1994

To anyone who knows me, the fact that I play the granddaddy of all trading card games (once called ‘collectible card games) called Magic: The Gathering will come as no surprise at all.

If you DO know me and hadn’t picked up this fact, please start taking notes.

I found something today that I never knew about. Something called Googlisms. Apparently what occurs is that the site does queries on the word/phrase you are searching for and comes back with the word/phrase and a few following words, giving you an ‘in a nutshell’ view of the topic at hand.

Case in point:

Google on “what is magic the gathering” gets you this list. Kinda cool, actually, as long as you understand that the phrases don’t always mean what you think they do. For instance, the second one on the list ‘magic: the gathering is in many ways a colossal affront to gaming’ is actually from a quote that the Online version of Magic: the Gathering is…what they say. Or at least they think it is. But still, kinda cool.

Anyway, back to Magic. A relatively simple primer, with links:

Basically you play land which, at its base level, ‘taps’ (turns sideways) to give you a mana of one of 5 colors (White, Blue, Black, Red, Green).

You use this mana to do things, like summoning creatures (in this example, the generally unexciting pegasus), or cast sorceries (a few examples from the Kamigawa block here) or instants (a few of those from the same sets here), or play enchantments such as these. Also, there is an entire class of items (called artifacts) that can be played by any color, because they have no specific color requirement (they use what is called ‘generic mana’, which is mana of any color, or none). Examples of some here. You’ll find that artifacts tend to have a lot of text, because they are often either quite powerful, or quite random.

So that’s how you bring stuff into play. You can usually only play one land a turn, so as the game progresses you become more able to use cards that cost more and are therefor (usually) more powerful. So, uh, why are you doing all this? To WIN of course! The current comprehensive rules of the game list the following ways to win (according to the actual rules of the game):

102. Winning and Losing

102.1. If a player’s life total is 0 or less, he or she loses the game the next time a player would receive priority. (This is a state-based effect. See rule 420.)

102.2. When a player is required to draw more cards than are left in his or her library, he or she draws the remaining cards, and then loses the game the next time a player would receive priority. (This is a state-based effect. See rule 420.)

102.3. A game immediately ends when a player loses or wins or when the game is a draw.

102.4. If both players lose simultaneously, the game is a draw.

102.5. If a player would both win and lose simultaneously, he or she loses.

102.6. If the game somehow enters a “loop,” repeating a sequence of events with no way to stop, the game is a draw. Loops that contain an optional action don’t result in a draw.

102.7. A player can concede the game at any time. A player who concedes a game leaves the game immediately. He or she loses the game.

102.8. If a player has ten or more poison counters, he or she loses the game the next time a player would receive priority. (This is a state-based effect. See rule 420.)

Generally the only way that players try to win in competitive matches are reducing your opponents life to zero or less and what is called ‘decking’, which is causing them try to draw a card when they have no more cards in their draw pile. But there are also cards that cause you to win (or lose) the game. This leads to the Golden Rule of Magic ‘103.1. Whenever a card’s text directly contradicts these rules, the card takes precedence. The card overrides only the rule that applies to that specific situation. The only exception is that a player can concede the game at any time, regardless of what other cards say (see rule 102.7).’

You’ll notice how each of these rules references in turn references another rule. Magic is not a simple game. Thankfully these days it is a lot simpler than it used to be, but the current comprehensive rules are 104 pages (of which the glossary is the last 34 or so pages, which is due to the huge amount of rules or game effects that no longer are used).

But at the same time, basic Magic isn’t overly complicated either. At the lowest level it’s ‘play a land, cast a spell/summon a creature, attack, be done’. It’s a game where the more you play it, and the more you want to be better at it, the more of the rules you need to understand. Just in case Paul reads this ‘Untap, Upkeep, Draw’ seems to be the single hardest thing for new players to understand (Paul understood it, it was the teaching of others that drove us nuts).

Magic is, at it’s ultimate point, a highly strategic game with randomness introduced. Think of a chess game where you have a choice of thousands of pieces to use, and you randomly assign those pieces to starting points on the board. Due to this strategic nature, Magic is often used as a critical thinking teaching tool. Questions like this often come up:

1) Your deck is a constructed legal minimum 60 card deck. You have 4 copies of Lightning Bolt in your deck. When you draw your initial 7 cards, what are your odds of drawing a single lightning bolt, and one of your 20 Mountains? And if you add 2 of a different card to your deck, making it 62 cards, how have you changed the odds?

2) Your deck works on the premise that, under no circumstances can you win without drawing and using your Illusions of Grandeur. But drawing more than one at the start is ineffective and wasteful. You have the ability to also play up to 4 copies of Enlightened Tutor in your deck (4 is the maximum of non-basic lands allowed in your deck, and the Enlightened Tutor helps you get the Illusions of Grandeur). What is the optimal number?

And so forth. Not to mention the insane amount of choices to be made during a game. Do I use my direct damage spell on that creature that is killing me or send it directly at my opponent? Do I use my counterspell on the sorcery currently being cast, or is my opponent merely try to fish this counter out of my hand? Do I play a swamp first, hoping that I will draw another to play my Wicked Akuba or do I play a mountain (of which I am holding three) so that I can be sure to play my Ball Lightning turn 3?

Magic is a game of probabilities and statistics. At the highest level it’s also a game of bluffing and reading people. In many ways it’s similar to Poker. Which is why so many high level Magic players end up being good Poker players…they have an understanding of probabilities that far surpasses anything a poker player has to deal with, because they have far more cards to ponder..case in point, David Williams, who won second place at the World Series of Poker last year. And at the top table another player (Matthias Andersson) was also a Magic professional (more on that later).

So, that’s today’s topic about ‘What is Magic: the Gathering’. In my next blog I will inform you of its history and my involvement with it. It’s a gripping story, so don’t miss it!

Draw, play island, go.

Gryfalia

Filed under: Fun and Games
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“Lord, I need to talk to You.
There’s so much on my heart.
So many burdens make it hard.
And I don’t know where to start.
I thank You for my family,
Your mercy and Your love.
Now on to more important things,
I’ll give my magic lamp a rub.

CHORUS:
Gimme this, I want that,
Bless me Lord I pray.
Grant me what I think I need to make another day.
Make me wealthy. Keep me healthy.
Fill in what I miss
on my never-ending shopping list.

Lord, You’ve been so good to me.
How could I ask for more?
But since You said to ask, I will,
cause what else is prayer for?
The cattle on a thousand hills,
they belong to You.
I don’t need any cows right now,
but something else will do.”

Shopping List – Written by Larry Bryant, sung by Babbie Mason

This could, in theory, be a prime time to jump into a discussion of the crass commercialization of Christmas. Or perhaps to discuss the greedy society we live in. Or perhaps people who promote a ‘Health and wealth theology’ like our beloved Robert Schuler (cough).

Nope, I’m simply here to help you out with a list of things that you can buy me when my birthday comes up. Or Christmas. Or just because you love my blog soooooo much. So take notes.

1) Fearful Symmetry by Daniel Amos on CD. I will be the first to admit that when I was in my musical ‘formative years’ I somehow missed most of DA’s work. I missed out on the Alarma! Chronicles when they first came out, and I only picked up Fearful Symmetry and Darn Floor, Big Bite on cassette. And time doing what time does to cassettes (especially for those weak owners who leave them in the car in summer too often) my tapes are trashed. So in this modern era of CDs, that’s what I need. Currently it looks like Radrockers.com is out, but a trip to EBay might work for you. There’s some time until my birthday, you can afford to plan ahead. Of course, you can REALLY show your affection by picking up the special CD set of the entire Alarma! Chronicles that came out several years ago. To be honest, the price on it is pretty insane.

2) Steve Taylor’s Now the Truth Can Be Told collection OR The Best We Could Find and Three That Never Escaped. Either one. I’m not picky. Sadly enough I once owned both of these on CD, but in the past years both have gone missing. Ebay is the best source for these. You simply can’t go wrong with Steve Taylor, as I will prove in the near future right here.

3) Chagall Guevara by Chagall Guevara on CD. Ok, this is kinda cheating. It’s also a Steve Taylor album, but Steve with some of the other great minds in Christian Music. This one is a tad down on the list because I could just burn a copy of the CD myself (I have the cassette). But I am a purist of sorts and I like to see the pretty CD as I get it ready to play.

4) A copy of the Senior Share Day Chapel comments (including my own) from my senior year at Wheaton College. Ok, this one is likely waaaay harder to get than any of the above. And I know, because I worked at the radio station at Wheaton (WETN) and I tried to find a copy of it (the radio station taped each of them for future playback) and miracles of miracles, it was nowhere to be found. I know it wasn’t from MY comments, but probably from the comments of 2 other people, initials ZM and SG, but I won’t hold a grudge.

And last but not least, something that you could get that would make me simply UBER happy…

A copy, on CD, of any of _ton bundle’s albums (ok, either of them..or just the collection with all of them). This would, of course, probably have to be done by someone who went to Wheaton, since _ton bundle was a group that, as far as I know, only existed while I was in school and broke up before they left. Besides Harrod and Funck (which I have on CD), these guys are the ones that I really, REALLY wish I could listen to in my car.

That’s all for now. I’ll be sure to keep you updated if this list changes, or I get anything from it. I’ll make doubly sure that I replace anything I do manage to get with something new. I like to keep your options open.

Ta ta for now!

Gryfalia

Filed under: Music
2 Comments

“So .. When you were emperor, it meant something. Subduer of the Xon and the Shoggren. .. Now .. Ptttp! Anyone can be emperor. I can be emperor. Vir can be emperor. If Vir can be emperor, a small earth cat can be emperor. .. Come on. Talk to me. It’s the day of the dead.”
– Londo in Babylon 5:”Day of the Dead”

Given that Londo thinks a cat can be described as ‘Feathers, long bill, webbed feet .. go ‘quack’?’ who knows what he is really thinking about, but I think that Straczynski has an unhealthy relationship with either cats or ducks. Using this very cool site, I did a quick search. While the site doesn’t search the entire script, it’s probably good enough for our needs. 6 entries for ‘cat’ (as in the animal, not including ‘cat’ as part of another word). Tho to be fair one entry (‘You all look like a Pak’ma’ra just ate your cat.’) isn’t likely on the pro-cat side of things.

3 entries for dog.

0 birds. (although 1 Canary).

2 horses (kinda)

Fish comes close with 5.

And, strangely enough, 2 ducks. One ‘Quack like a duck’ and one that isn’t technically in the words of the script, but we DO see Duck Dodgers in one episode.

So yes, my highly trained opinion is that JMS is a cat-person.

Too bad, I almost liked him.

Anyway, sorry for being so long between writing, but work has been hectic and I’ve been running around a lot. Will try to do better in the future.

Which is after today, because I am out of time.

Talk at ya all later!

Gryfalia

Filed under: Random Babbling
3 Comments